Caring for an Elderly Family Member After an Operation

Recovering from surgery at any age is stressful enough, but even more so for older adults who may be more frail and prone to slower recovery. It’s important that they have friends or family members around them to help with simple tasks, like cooking, driving and dressing, while they get back on their feet. If you know an elderly family member is soon to undergo an operation, it’s a good idea to start prepping in advance to make sure their recovery goes as smoothly as possible.

In this article, we’ll discuss some ideas for caring for an elderly family member post-op, including things you can do before and after the operation to make both your lives easier.

What you can do before the day of your relative’s surgery

Every operation is different, from knee replacements to cataract removal, so they all come with their own potential limitations for families to prepare for. Knowing exactly what your relative will be going through is the first step in getting ready for their surgery, so we highly recommend reading up on the operation, including risks, benefits and more. This shows you care and means you can hopefully give your loved one peace of mind if they’re anxious about their surgery.

Psychology Today reported that mentally preparing for an operation beforehand can reduce post-surgical anxiety, stress and even depression. Reading up on what to expect with your loved one may also help them feel more in control, making them more confident walking into hospital, ready to face what lies ahead. Make a list of any questions either of you have to ask the medical team the morning of the surgery. These could include:

• What are the potential complications and risks of this kind of surgery?
• Are there any likely limitations they’ll have after the surgery?
• What is the expected recovery time for their age?
• Are there any special instructions that you should be aware of for post-operative care?

Making arrangements before surgery

Before your elderly family member undergoes surgery, it’s incredibly important to plan ahead. Organising practical arrangements can make your lives much easier afterwards, making the adjustment smoother. Here are some arrangements that you could consider:

• Transportation: Know how you and your family member will be getting to and from the hospital. If you’re driving, look up parking charges and maximum stays so you’re not caught out if they’re discharged late at night.
• Care assistance: Plan who is going to take over caring duties for any dependents, like pets or children, while you’re looking after your elderly relative.
• Home preparation: Stock up on food and toiletries, and meal prep anything that can be easily reheated if you’re worried about having time to cook around your other caring responsibilities.
• Mobility considerations: If your family member is expected to have limited mobility after their surgery, move furniture to make it easier for them to get around. Gather their favourite things, like their book, glasses, TV remote and phone, and put them close to their chair so they can reach them. You could also move their bed to the ground floor if stairs are going to be a problem.
• Hospital bags: The earlier you start packing for their hospital stay, the longer you have to think of anything you’ve missed. Essentials you may need include: regular medications, toiletries, nightwear, comfortable clothes and slippers.

Tips for caring for an elderly family member after surgery

The days after surgery are some of the most stressful for everyone involved, but being present, prepared and patient may help speed up recovery and avoid any tension in the process. Here are a few practical tips and things to keep in mind once your relative is back home after their surgery:

1. Ask plenty of questions at the hospital

Unless it’s an outpatient procedure, your loved one will most likely be kept in hospital for a few hours or days after the operation to make sure they’re recovering well. This is a great time for you to talk to the medical team, be in on their discussions and ask any questions you might have for the coming weeks. Get as much information as you can on the post-surgery care plan, so you know exactly what to do when you get home.

The care plan will be different depending on what surgery your family member is having, but generally, things you could ask about are:

• Pain medicine and management
• Wound care and redressing information
• Mobility exercises

While your relative’s doctor might give you a number to call with any questions after you get home, asking them at the hospital gives you answers straight away, from the medical team your loved one has been treated with.

2. Be patient

Once you and your relative are at home, it’s time for the real recovery to begin. The first few days after surgery are going to be tough, and it’s most likely when you’ll be needed most. Your family member may be tired, suffering from pain, annoyed with the limitations their recovery has put on them and upset that they can’t do the things they want to.

The most important thing is to be patient with them. Their feelings may be projected onto you as the closest person to them, but try and remember that it’s not personal. Help them in any way you can, such as going to the bathroom and making their meals. If it’s becoming too much, take regular breaks to avoid getting overwhelmed.

3. Follow the doctor’s orders

Your family member might have been prescribed medication to take for a set amount of time after their surgery, so make sure they’re taking it properly and at the right times. If they need a repeat prescription, set an alarm to make sure you order it on time.

Wound care is especially important for older people, so you might be tasked with checking the surgical site for signs of inflammation or infection. Talk to a doctor if you think you see anything out of the ordinary for their recovery. If you’re unsure of anything, use the number your doctor gave you to check with a professional.

4. Find the right balance between support and independence

Recovery times often get longer the older we get because the body struggles to repair and regenerate tissue as quickly as it used to. This means that your loved one might need you for longer than you both anticipate, especially if there are complications in their recovery. You may need to help with simple tasks that they can’t do for themselves, like getting out and about, cooking, taking the rubbish out and other chores.

As they get stronger, encourage them to do more on their own to foster their independence and give them a boost. If your family member could do most things for themselves before their operation, they probably can’t wait to get back to it. Gently encourage them while offering support only when they need it, as this prevents them from getting too reliant on your care.

5. Lend a listening ear

If your loved one is on a long road to recovery, their morale can take a big hit. The aftermath of an operation is difficult, no matter how old you are, but especially when you’re suddenly reliant on someone else for basic needs. Sometimes the most important thing you can give them is grace. Simply being with them and listening to what’s bothering them can be a huge help.

While you’re not going through the same thing as your family member, showing solidarity may help them feel less alone. You can do this by following their diet, not drinking or smoking around them if they’re not allowed to or doing the recovery exercises with them.

H6. Help with post-surgery exercises

The doctor might give your family member a list of exercises to do to keep their strength and boost their mobility after surgery. Many older people feel stiff and find it difficult to get around while recovering, especially when they’re told to take it easy. However, making sure they do their exercises is a good way to prevent this from happening. Encouraging them to follow their rehabilitation plan can even help them recover faster. Just watch out for signs that they’re overdoing it.

7. Keep an eye out for post-surgery complications

Most operations come with the risk of post-surgery complications, like sleep problems, infections and increased pain. While some of these complications are common and go away on their own, others can be serious and will need medical attention right away. Looking out for anything that concerns you is incredibly important, especially when your family member might not be able to spot complications themselves.

8. Take their mind off it with activities you both enjoy

Sometimes, the best medicine comes in the form of genuine enjoyment between loved ones. Recovering from surgery is often tough on relationships, so making time to spend together without thinking of medical jargon is a great way to ease any tension and get back to being a family. The activities you choose shouldn’t be too strenuous that they compromise their recovery, so keep them relaxing. Some great options are gardening, listening to music or puzzles.

Helping a loved one with postoperative delirium

People over the age of 65 are more at risk of developing delirium after an operation, which may make them confused, disorientated and forgetful. If you get home and find that your family member starts becoming restless, agitated, irritated or even combative, it might be because they’ve developed a form of postoperative delirium.

While it’s often temporary, it can still be scary for you and your relative, so knowing how to help them through it is vital. Here are some tips for navigating delirium:

• Call your relative’s doctor: Don’t wait for their next appointment – get professional help right away, as they might be able to determine the cause of the delirium and how to treat it quickly.
• Take stock of their medications: Some medications can increase the risk of delirium after surgery, so make a note of everything they’ve taken for their doctor to assess.
• Keep them mentally engaged: Keep your relative engaged by talking to them and using activities they enjoy instead of letting them sleep all day, as this could be a sign of hypoactive (“quiet”) delirium.
• Get them moving, eating and drinking: Make sure they’re up and looking after themselves, and taking their medications.
• Encourage a regular sleep schedule: Keeping a reliable sleep/wake schedule is especially important for the brain function of people with delirium.

Post-operative delirium affects up to 50% of adults over the age of 65, but using these tips all together should both help speed up their recovery and reduce the effects of their delirium.

How Country Cousins can help

Caring for an elderly family member after an operation can be a much bigger challenge than you think – especially if recovery takes weeks or months. It may put a huge strain on you and your family, and your other responsibilities might get less attention while you adjust to your new role.

Our experienced post-operative carers can support your loved one in their recovery journey in a number of ways, including:

• Washing, dressing, shaving and toilet needs
• Mobility support and accompanying to their appointments
• Rehabilitation support with their daily exercises
• Help taking medications and ordering repeat prescriptions
• Light housework, laundry, shopping and cooking
• Daily errands
• Pet care and feeding, including dog walking
• Companionship and support with their hobbies

Our carers offer as much support as you and your loved one need, and we’ll work with you to create a tailored plan that lets you have a break without your caring responsibilities from getting on top of you.

Talk to our team today

As the UK’s longest-serving introductory live-in care agency, we have been providing compassionate live-in care to those who need it since 1959 – all from the comfort of their own homes.

Give us a call today on 01293 224 706. Our experienced team is on hand to help from Monday to Friday, 8 am to 6 pm. Alternatively, contact us through our online enquiry form.