How You Can Support a Frail Family Member

Watching your loved one get older and lose their strength, independence and energy can be extremely tough. You might find yourself taking on more responsibilities, gradually helping them look after themselves as they start finding it more difficult to do so on their own. You may not have even realised how much you’re doing until you’ve stepped into a full-time role as a family carer.

Caring for a frail loved one is often a rewarding experience with plenty of benefits, but it can also be overwhelming if you don’t know where to turn for support. Not only is it a huge change for you to come to terms with, but your family member may find it hard to accept that they’re getting older, too.

In this article, we’ll explore how to support a frail family member at home to give them the best possible care while you both navigate this change.

Creating a care plan

The first step in supporting your family member is getting organised and on the same page. By sitting down with your loved one and working out what they need from you, you’ll have a good idea of how many responsibilities you’ll be taking on. This also gives you a roadmap for providing necessary support daily, weekly and monthly.

Some things to think about when creating your care plan are:

Medication, including doses and how often it should be taken
Personal hygiene needs
Meal preparation
Appointments, including reminders and management
Exercise and mobility support

Creating a care plan gives you the opportunity to plan how you’re going to support your family member around your other responsibilities. It also helps show if you need to arrange another carer to step in when you’re not available to support your frail relative.

Supporting your loved one’s independence

Imagine getting older, not being able to do all the things you used to, and suddenly needing a family member to help you cook, clean and get around the house. You’d probably feel quite confused and frustrated with your lack of control! Relatives coming in and taking over things older adults used to do for themselves is one of the most common reasons why tensions flare between family carers and frail seniors.

To avoid this and keep your relationship a positive one, involve your loved one in as much as you can. Ask for their help when planning your routine, make a note of the activities and meals they like most, to include them in your care and encourage them to do things for themselves.

Fostering their independence can also keep your relative from becoming dependent on you. Giving them as much control as possible boosts their strength, cognitive engagement and mood. Offer support when it’s needed, but don’t take over unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Making sure their home is safe and accessible

One of the most worrying things for older adults is the possibility of being pushed out of their homes into a smaller, more accessible living arrangement. Just because your loved one is getting older, it doesn’t mean they have to downsize! In fact, the stress of moving them could be detrimental to their health and well-being.

Instead, walk around their home and take note of what can be modified to make it more accessible for their current mobility. Some helpful examples might include:

Install grab bars in the bathroom
Add non-slip mats anywhere prone to moisture
Move low furniture that’s easy to fall over
Keep their favourite items near their chair or bedside
Clear pathways of clutter to accommodate walkers or wheelchairs
Replace old light bulbs with brighter alternatives for better visibility
Make sure medications are stored out of reach

Regularly repeat your walkaround the house to make sure everything is safe and accessible for your loved one. By spotting and removing hazards, you’ll reduce the risk of accidents while also keeping them in familiar surroundings, enhancing their independence and quality of life.

Establishing a routine that works for you

If your loved one needs consistent, daily care, it’s not uncommon to fall into the trap of overworking yourself. Without a routine in place, things like self-care and home admin may begin to fall through the cracks, leaving you feeling stressed and helpless. When supporting a frail family member, you cannot underestimate the importance of looking after yourself, too.

The best way to do this is by developing a schedule that lets everyone know what’s happening. Include regular timings for things like your loved one’s meals, medication, exercise and rest. Not only does this prevent you from becoming overwhelmed, but it may also stop your family member from feeling anxious or confused. As you continue establishing your routine, they’ll be able to anticipate things at certain times of the day instead of worrying about how they’re going to get lunch or take their medicine.

Maintaining good health and hygiene

One of the most important ways to support your frail family member is to help them with daily hygiene tasks to keep them in good shape. Encourage them to bathe, brush their teeth, style their hair and dress themselves every day, and only step in if they are struggling to complete these tasks on their own. Wherever possible, respect their dignity to keep them comfortable, but let them know that you’re there if they need help.

To maintain their health, you might also need to help with medications. Keep a record of which medicines your loved one needs and at what times, and check that they’ve taken them at the end of each day. A pill organiser is a fantastic way of keeping track while still giving your family member the independence to administer the medications themselves. If your relative is experiencing cognitive decline, a pill organiser lets you store the rest of the medicine away to prevent them from forgetting and taking double doses.

Encouraging correct nutrition and hydration

Making sure your loved one is eating and drinking enough is essential for keeping their health and energy levels up. Older adults often experience a drop in their appetite, so it’s not uncommon for them to forget to eat enough throughout the day. Here are some ways you can encourage your relative to eat enough, even when you’re not with them 24/7:

Pre-plan meals and snacks so they have a menu for each day and can look forward to eating
Create a meal plan that covers all of their dietary needs and preferences, taking any medical conditions that affect this into account
Batch cook meals and leave them in the fridge or freezer for your family member to reheat when they’re hungry
Leave pre-portioned snack pots where they can reach them for when they get peckish throughout the day

As we age, dehydration becomes a bigger risk because we often experience a decreased sense of thirst. Certain health conditions and medicines might also affect how thirsty we are. Dehydration is very serious in older adults, which is why it’s so important to keep an eye on how much water your relative is drinking. Offer them a variety of drinks, including water, juices and herbal teas, as well as adding plenty of water-rich foods like fruits and vegetables to their diet.

Offering emotional support

Sometimes, simply sitting with your family member and letting them know you’re there for them is the best thing you can do. Emotional support is just as important as meeting physical needs, so let them know that you’re available for them to talk about anything. Here are some ways to offer emotional support to a frail loved one:

Actively listen to them instead of getting distracted by your phone or other responsibilities
Frequently encourage them to discuss their feelings, needs and concerns with you
Validate their emotions by offering reassurance when they’re finding the adjustment to getting older difficult
Create an environment where they feel heard, understood and confident in sharing their emotions
Make it possible for them to get out and about to meet friends and family
Spend time on activities they love, including hobbies, games or creative outlets

Supporting your loved one emotionally can significantly impact their mental health and well-being, hopefully reducing any feelings of loneliness and anxiety that they’re experiencing. Remember that your emotional well-being is just as important as that of your relatives, so don’t forget to look after yourself, too.

Staying active with regular exercise

Regular physical activity is another incredibly important thing to consider when supporting a frail family member. While they might not be able to move as freely as they used to, there’s no reason why they should be confined to a chair or bed. Encouraging them to stay active has the potential to boost their mobility, reduce the risk of chronic diseases and improve their well-being. Even small movements like chair stretches and walking from room to room often make a huge difference in mood and mobility.

Try and include some form of physical activity in your loved one’s daily routine. Moving reduces endorphins and makes them feel more confident in their ability, keeping their spirits high during this otherwise stressful adjustment period. Proving to themselves that they can still move around by themselves boosts their independence and keeps them feeling in control, which is often a huge help in supporting them without taking over.

We have a guide on the 5 best physical exercises for frail people that can help.

How Country Cousins can help

Caring for a loved one is often physically and emotionally demanding, but sometimes, it’s difficult to know where to turn for help. That’s where Country Cousins comes in. We’ll match your family with an experienced live-in carer who can follow your care plan to give you a much-needed break. This will let you rest and recharge without worrying about your family member being alone.

We offer lots of care services for you to choose from, including respite care to take some of the responsibilities off your shoulders as often as you need us. This service includes:

Support with moving around the house
Assistance with showering, bathing, shaving and oral hygiene
Help with dressing for the day
Support with getting to and from the toilet

One of the best ways you can support your frail family member is by making sure they’re properly cared for. You’ll find it much easier to offer sufficient support when you’re taken care of too, so make sure you prioritise breaks to maintain your own health and well-being.

Talk to our team today

As the UK’s longest-serving introductory live-in care agency, we have been providing compassionate live-in care to those who need it since 1959 – all from the comfort of their own homes.

Give us a call today on 01293 224 706. Our experienced team is on hand to help from Monday to Friday, 8 am to 6 pm. Alternatively, contact us through our online enquiry form.