Caring for Elderly Parents – Top Tips & Support

As our parents age, the roles within the family often evolve, and many of us find ourselves stepping into the role of caregiver. This transition can be both rewarding and challenging, as it involves balancing emotional, physical and practical responsibilities. Whether your parent is living independently, with you or in a care facility, understanding their needs and how best to support them is crucial.

In this guide, we’ll explore practical tips and resources to help you navigate the journey of caring for elderly parents. From assessing their needs and ensuring their home is safe to managing finances and seeking support, we’ll provide insights to make this experience more manageable and fulfilling for both you and your parent.

Assessing your parents’ needs

Understanding your parents’ evolving needs is the first step in providing the right care and support.

Key areas to evaluate

1. Physical health and mobility

Observe any changes in your parents’ physical abilities. Signs such as difficulty walking, frequent falls or noticeable weight loss may indicate underlying health issues. Assessing their ability to perform daily tasks like dressing, bathing or preparing meals can provide insight into their physical health.

2. Cognitive function

Monitor for signs of memory loss, confusion or difficulty concentrating. These could be early indicators of cognitive decline or conditions such as dementia. Regularly engaging your parent in conversations, activities or games can help maintain their cognitive function, and being aware of any significant changes allows you to address concerns early.

3. Emotional well-being

Changes in mood, such as increased irritability, depression or withdrawal from social activities, may suggest emotional or mental health concerns. It’s important to consider these signs and discuss them with your parents to understand their feelings and needs. Be open about their emotional well-being and consider seeking professional help if needed.

4. Daily living activities

Assess your parents’ ability to manage everyday tasks. Difficulty with activities like cooking, cleaning, managing finances or maintaining personal hygiene can indicate a need for additional support. Regularly check their living environment for cleanliness and organisation, as a cluttered or untidy home may reflect challenges in daily functioning.

5. Safety and home environment

Evaluate the safety of your parents’ living space. Look for hazards such as loose rugs, poor lighting or lack of grab bars in bathrooms. Implementing simple modifications like improved lighting, non-slip mats and accessible storage can help keep them safe and prevent accidents.

Managing finances and legal matters

Caring for elderly parents involves more than just providing day-to-day assistance with their health and well-being – it often requires navigating complex financial and legal matters to ensure they are well supported and protected. These tasks can feel overwhelming, especially if your parent hasn’t previously discussed their finances or legal arrangements with you. However, taking the time to properly manage these matters can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved one, ensuring that their needs are met now and in the future.

Here are some key areas to focus on when managing finances and legal matters while caring for elderly parents:

Setting up power of attorney

One of the most important legal arrangements you’ll need to consider is setting up a power of attorney (POA). This legal document allows someone to make decisions on behalf of your parent if they become unable to do so themselves due to illness or cognitive decline. There are two types of power of attorney to consider:

Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA): This covers two main areas – health and welfare, and property and financial affairs. Having an LPA in place ensures that you, or someone trusted by your parent, can manage both their medical and financial needs if they are no longer able to make decisions for themselves.
Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA): Though less commonly used today, an EPA is still valid for those set up before October 2007 and allows someone to manage financial matters on behalf of your parent.

Setting up a POA involves legal procedures, including registering the document with the Office of the Public Guardian. It’s important to start this process early, while your parent is still able to make decisions for themselves. Discuss the responsibilities with your parent and ensure they understand the importance of granting someone power of attorney over their affairs.

Managing healthcare costs and benefits

Healthcare costs can quickly add up as your parents age, especially if they require long-term care, medical treatments or ongoing prescriptions. Understanding how to manage these expenses and access benefits can significantly reduce the financial strain on both your parent and yourself. Consider the following steps:

Explore NHS and social care funding: The NHS offers various services, including support for elderly individuals through community nurses or domiciliary care. It’s essential to explore any entitlements or benefits your parent may be eligible for, such as Attendance Allowance or Personal Independence Payment (PIP), which can help cover the costs of care at home. If your parent is eligible, you might also need to complete an assessment through their local council for support with care services.
Long-term care insurance: If your parent doesn’t have long-term care insurance, you may need to consider private options. Many care homes or in-home care providers offer services that can be tailored to your loved one’s needs. Check for available payment options, including direct payments or a personal budget from the local authority.

Planning for long-term care

It’s essential to plan for your parent’s long-term care needs early on, especially if they are experiencing chronic health conditions or cognitive decline. Care planning can help ensure your loved one receives the appropriate care when the time comes. There are several options to consider:

Home care vs. residential care: If your parent prefers to live at home, home care services might be the best option. You can arrange for carers to visit regularly or consider live-in care, which allows your loved one to stay in a familiar environment while receiving the support they need. In cases where living at home is no longer feasible, a care home or assisted living facility may be a better option. Research care homes in your area to determine the best fit for your parent’s needs and budget.
Planning for costs: Long-term care can be expensive, especially if your parent requires specialised care or assistance with daily activities. It’s important to estimate the costs involved, as the NHS or insurance policies may not fully cover some care options. Look into local authority funding options, including financial assessments that could help subsidise care costs, as well as the eligibility criteria for government support.
Advance care planning: Having discussions with your parent about their wishes for the future can help ensure that their needs are met in the way they desire. This might include their preferences for medical treatment, the type of care they want to receive, and end-of-life arrangements. Advance care planning can prevent any misunderstandings and reduce stress when making decisions later on.

Finding ways to encourage independence while ensuring safety

As much as your parent may want to stay independent, their safety and well-being should always come first. Encouraging independence doesn’t mean ignoring potential risks, but rather finding ways to keep them as safe as possible while still allowing them to do things for themselves.

Adapt their environment: Modify their living space to make it safer and more accessible, but without making it feel like a hospital or care facility. Simple changes like adding grab bars in the bathroom, ensuring the home is well-lit, and removing tripping hazards can make it easier for your parent to move around independently while staying safe.
Introduce assistive devices: There are various tools and devices available that can help your parent maintain independence. From mobility aids like walkers or canes to devices that remind them to take medications or assist with hearing and vision, these tools can help them carry out tasks on their own with added safety.
Encourage physical activity: Encouraging gentle exercise or physical therapy can help your parent maintain their mobility and strength, allowing them to carry out daily tasks with more confidence and less risk. Even simple exercises, like walking or stretching, can significantly improve balance, strength, and overall well-being.
Monitor health conditions: Keep an eye on any chronic health conditions your parent may have, such as diabetes, hypertension, or dementia. Regular doctor visits, medication management, and monitoring any changes in health are essential to ensuring their well-being and preventing potential complications that could limit their independence.

Finding support for yourself as a caregiver

Caring for an elderly parent is a rewarding but demanding role, and it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the emotional, physical and financial responsibilities. It’s important to remember that as a caregiver, your well-being matters too. If you’re constantly focused on your parent’s needs, it can be easy to neglect your own health and happiness. Finding support for yourself is crucial not only for your own well-being but also for your ability to provide the best care possible.

Here are some ways to find the support you need as a caregiver:

The importance of self-care for caregivers

Self-care is vital for every caregiver. It’s easy to put your own needs last, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll struggle to care for others effectively. Prioritise your physical and mental health by making time for activities that rejuvenate you, whether it’s exercise, reading, spending time with friends, or simply relaxing. Ensuring you are physically rested and mentally sharp will help you cope better with the demands of caregiving.

Regular breaks: Even if it’s just a few minutes to breathe or go for a walk, regular breaks are essential. They help prevent burnout and improve your ability to provide care.
Eating well and staying active: Make sure you’re eating a balanced diet and engaging in some form of physical activity, whether it’s a simple walk or a more vigorous exercise routine. Exercise helps reduce stress and boosts your mood.
Sleep: Try to maintain a regular sleep schedule, as fatigue can increase feelings of stress and anxiety.

Joining caregiver support groups

One of the most important sources of support is talking to others who are in a similar situation. Caregiver support groups, both in-person and online, offer a chance to share experiences, gain insights, and feel less isolated. Talking to others who understand your struggles can be incredibly reassuring, and it provides a platform for exchanging practical advice on caregiving.

Local community groups: Check if there are any caregiver groups in your area. Many hospitals, charities, or senior centres offer support groups where you can meet other caregivers and attend events or workshops.
Online forums and resources: There are countless online communities for caregivers that offer advice, emotional support, and resources. Websites such as Carers UK and the Alzheimer’s Society provide forums where you can connect with others and access useful information.

Seeking respite care

Caring for an elderly parent is a full-time job, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the continuous demands. Respite care can offer you much-needed relief by providing professional help so you can take a break. This may involve having a carer come into your home for a few hours or a few days to look after your parent, allowing you time to rest and recharge.

In-home respite care: If your loved one is unable to attend a care facility, in-home respite care can provide a reliable alternative. This allows your parent to stay in the comfort of their own home while you get a break.
Residential respite care: Some care homes offer short-term stays, which can provide your parent with a change of scenery while giving you the opportunity to take a breather. This can be especially helpful if you’re planning to take a short holiday or deal with personal matters.
Support for specific needs: If your parent has complex health needs, ensure the respite care provider can offer the right level of care, including managing medical conditions or providing assistance with mobility.

How Country Cousins can help

If you decide that live-in care is the most appropriate form of care for you or your loved one, your first step should be to contact an introductory live-in care service such as Country Cousins. At Country Cousins, we offer a variety of different types of care at home services, depending on your individual health and care needs.

With more than 60 years of experience, we have extensive expertise in a wide range of home care services. You can trust us to help you find the most suitable carer to support your loved one in line with their personal preferences and wishes. For more information on selecting live-in care for you or your elderly loved one, check out our guide to live-in care.

Talk to our team today

If you are considering live-in care for you or your loved one, get in touch with us at Country Cousins today. We are the UK’s longest-serving introductory care agency, having provided compassionate care to people in their own homes since 1959.

Give us a call today should you have any questions about home care. Our experienced team is on hand to help from Monday to Friday, 8 am to 6 pm. Alternatively, contact us through our online enquiry form.