What To Do When You Find Out You Have Cancer?

Hearing the words “you have cancer” is one of the most stressful moments that can turn your world upside down. Understandably, it often creates negative emotions like overwhelm, anger, fear, stress or even depression. It’s important to realise that these emotions are completely normal, and most people with cancer will feel the same at some point during their journey.

It’s also really common to not know how to deal with your recent diagnosis or what you should be doing next. There’s a lot to think about, including making decisions about treatments, telling loved ones and coming to terms with your new normal. If your negative emotions overpower your rational thinking, they may hinder your motivation and ability to take your next steps.

Today, we’ll explore what to do when you find out you have cancer, including coping strategies, tips to keep healthy and how to find support.

What happens after you’re diagnosed with cancer?

Once your doctor delivers the news that you have cancer, the next natural step is to meet with a specialist cancer doctor or nurse to discuss your options and treatment plan. How quickly you’ll get this appointment might depend on the type of cancer you’re diagnosed with.

At your appointment, you’ll have the opportunity to ask as many questions as you’d like. The goal here is to get all the information you need about your cancer and options for treatment. If your doctor says anything you don’t understand or uses language you’re unsure of, make sure you advocate for yourself and ask them to explain. You may want to take a pen and paper or a loved one with you to help make notes.

Specialist healthcare professionals know how much of a vast change cancer comes with, so don’t worry about asking too many questions or voicing your concerns for too long. Here are some questions you could ask:

What kind of cancer do I have, and where in my body is it?
Has it spread? Will it in the future?
Can my cancer be treated?
What is the chance my cancer can be cured?
What other tests will I need?
What are my treatment options?
How will the treatment help and benefit me? Are there side effects?
What can I expect from the treatment? Will I still be able to work?
What can I do to stop my cancer from coming back?
Can my cancer be inherited by my children or other family members?
What happens if I don’t get treatment?

One of the best pieces of advice we can give you is to advocate for yourself rather than those around you. Consider how much you want to know about your cancer diagnosis, instead of focusing on your friends and family’s wishes. Some people want to learn everything they can about their health, while others are content with hearing the basics and leaving the decisions to their healthcare providers.

Both of these options are well within your rights as the patient. Your doctor shouldn’t tell you more than you want to hear, so let them know if you’d like any information skipped over. Your loved ones might also push for more information, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide how you want to deal with your diagnosis.

Tips for coping with your cancer diagnosis

Learning that you have cancer often puts an overwhelming amount of stress on you – mentally, emotionally and physically – so it’s fundamental that you know how to cope in a healthy way. Here are some top tips from cancer patients to help with coming to terms with your new normal:

Don’t bottle up your feelings

We know it can be easy to hide away and internalise all of your negative thoughts about your recent cancer diagnosis, but this might have a terrible impact on your mental health. If you find yourself beginning to feel sad, anxious, fearful or frustrated, label these emotions and acknowledge them.

Keep the lines of communication with your loved ones open. Talk to anyone you trust about how you’re feeling to keep you from feeling alone. Some cancer patients mention that they feel the need to look strong and put on a brave face, but releasing their true feelings can make all the difference.

Get help in communicating your diagnosis

As strange as it sounds, some people dealing with cancer find telling their loved ones the toughest part of this journey. It’s exhausting and opens you up to dealing with other people’s emotions as well as your own. This is why some people choose to keep their diagnosis a secret.

If you do want to tell your loved ones but are worried about how the stress will affect you, consider asking a trusted friend or family member to tell them instead. This makes sure everyone you want to know knows and can offer support when you need it.

Get back into your hobbies

Sometimes, the best way to cope with a cancer diagnosis is by looking on the bright side. Treatments often involve a lot of sitting around and waiting, giving you lots of time to find a new hobby you enjoy. Some good examples might include:

Choose a new show to watch at the hospital
Get back into reading
Crafts, such as knitting, crocheting or drawing
Listen to music or a podcast
Puzzle books, like crosswords or Sudoku
Scrapbooking and journaling

The key is to find something that soothes you and brings you joy while still being manageable alongside the side effects that cancer treatments often bring.

Take one day at a time

It’s very easy to feel overwhelmed when dealing with a recent cancer diagnosis. You suddenly have lots of important decisions to make, treatments to undergo, with all of this happening while you’re still processing the news.

Finding things passing by in a blur is normal as you adjust to your diagnosis, but remember it’s OK to take one step at a time and slow things down. Centre yourself each morning and remind yourself of what’s happening that day instead of worrying about things further in the future. This can prevent you from getting overwhelmed and help you to live in the moment, focusing on each step of treatment as it comes.

Finding the right support

Going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment often requires a lot of support, and you can find this in different places depending on your circumstances. Some people find that surrounding themselves with family is the best medicine, while others prefer the comfort of strangers who are going through a similar situation.

Here are some of the ways you can find the right support for you:

Friends and family: Many cancer patients mentioned that they found it helpful to write out a list of their loved ones who could provide both practical and emotional support. They also designated one person to reach out to others when they needed help, ensuring they were still supported without having to ask anyone directly.
Your oncology team: There are plenty of people on your professional team who can support your practical, emotional and mental health needs, such as psychologists, chaplains and social workers.
Support groups: Some people find talking to others who are going through a similar situation the best form of support. There are plenty of cancer support groups to choose from depending on your age, gender and diagnosis.
Cancer support helplines: Charities like Macmillan Cancer Support and Cancer Research UK have free helplines to call if you want to talk to a friendly stranger or specialist nurse.

What will change?

It’s not uncommon for lots of things to change around you when you get diagnosed with cancer. Here are some possible changes and how you can get ready for them:

Physical changes: Treatment might come with side effects of hair loss, weight fluctuations and an overall change in appearance. Seek advice from experts on clothing, makeup, and wigs to boost your confidence and help you feel more comfortable.
Your routine: What was once a simple working routine may now be full of appointments, treatment centres and support group meetings. Get support from your loved ones to help shoulder some of the burden your new routine comes with, such as driving you to appointments, walking your dogs and cooking.
Strength and stamina: Cancer treatments can often leave you feeling exhausted, stressed and weak. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle (getting enough sleep, eating right and exercising when you can) may be able to prevent some of the side effects.
Diet and appetite: Chemotherapy and radiation can change the way you think about food, as well as increase the risk of nausea and digestive problems. Eating smaller meals throughout the day helps manage this while still fuelling your body.
Your goals: Many patients note that they have an epiphany after their diagnosis of what’s really important. Check your calendar and cancel things that don’t meet your goals, making time for new ones that do.
Financial changes: Many unexpected financial issues can happen after a diagnosis, including taking time away from work, the cost of medical devices and travel expenses to treatment centres. There are plenty of resources that may be able to help, so ask your healthcare team about options to prevent financial stress from getting on top of you.

Everyone’s experience with cancer is different, so you might not find yourself impacted by all these changes. Remember not to compare your journey with others, but some of the most invaluable advice often comes from cancer survivors or those currently going through it at the same time as you.

How Country Cousins can help

The aftermath of dealing with a cancer diagnosis is often an emotional time, full of uncertainty. At Country Cousins, we offer expert cancer home care, providing support from the comfort of your own home so you can rest and recover in familiar surroundings.

Our cancer carers may help with:

Bathing, dressing, shaving and toileting
Support post-treatment
Mobility assistance around the house
Running errands and helping with chores
Companionship and emotional support

Our live-in carers give you as much support as you need while maintaining your independence and dignity, so you can carry on with life the way you like. We offer plenty of experience, compassion and reassurance: exactly what you might need during a time like this.

Talk to our team today

As the UK’s longest-serving introductory live-in care agency, we have been providing compassionate live-in care to those who need it since 1959 – all from the comfort of their own homes.

Give us a call today on 01293 224 706. Our experienced team is on hand to help from Monday to Friday, 8 am to 6 pm. Alternatively, contact us through our online enquiry form.