How to Find the Right Dementia Carer
Finding the right carer for someone living with dementia often feels like an overwhelming decision. Whether you’re just starting to notice changes or your loved one needs more day-to-day support, having the right person by their side can make all the difference. It’s not just about practical help, but about finding someone who understands the condition and brings patience, empathy and consistency.
In this article, we’ll walk you through what to think about when choosing a dementia carer, so you can feel confident you’re making the right choice for your family.
Understanding what your loved one needs
Before you start looking for a dementia carer, it helps to take a step back and think about what kind of support your loved one really needs day to day. Dementia affects everyone a little differently, so what works for one person might not work for another.
Do they need help with things like getting dressed, remembering to take medication or just having someone around to keep them company? Are they fairly independent but starting to struggle with routines or is more hands-on care needed? It’s also worth thinking about what brings them joy, maybe they like chatting over a cup of tea, getting out into the garden or listening to their favourite music.
Getting a clear picture of their needs and personality means you’ll be in a stronger position to find a carer who’s not only capable, but also a good match on a personal level.
What to look for in a dementia carer
When choosing a carer, it’s important to look beyond just qualifications. Of course, experience with dementia care and proper training matter, but so do personality, attitude and approach.
A good dementia carer will be patient, calm under pressure and able to adapt to changes in mood or behaviour. They’ll also be great communicators, able to offer reassurance, and know how to build trust over time. Consistency can be incredibly important too, so try to find someone who’s likely to be a long-term fit.
If your loved one has specific needs, like support with mobility, help with personal care or someone confident using specialist equipment, make sure the carer is comfortable with these tasks. And if they enjoy certain activities, look for a carer who shares those interests or is happy to get involved. A good match can go a long way in helping your loved one feel more at ease.
Where to start your search
Once you know what you’re looking for, the next step is finding the right person or agency. You might start by asking your GP or local adult social services for recommendations. They can often point you towards trusted care providers in your area who specialise in dementia support.
You could also explore care agencies, like Country Cousins, that provide experienced live-in carers who are experienced working with people living with dementia. Agencies can help match you with someone who fits your needs and offer support if circumstances change later on.
Alternatively, some families choose to hire a carer privately, which can offer more flexibility but often requires more admin, including contracts and payroll. Whichever route you take, make sure to check references, ask about relevant experience and don’t be afraid to ask detailed questions about how they would handle real-life situations.
Above all, take your time. A little extra care now can make all the difference later.
What makes a good dementia carer?
Caring for someone with dementia takes more than experience. It requires patience, empathy and a genuine commitment to understanding the person behind the condition.
Here are the qualities that we believe make a dementia carer truly stand out:
Patience and calmness
Dementia can cause confusion, memory loss or sudden changes in mood. A good carer remains calm and steady, offering gentle reassurance and support even when things feel difficult.
Empathy and emotional understanding
A great carer doesn’t just complete tasks, they connect with the person they’re supporting. They take time to listen, learn their preferences and respond with kindness.
Strong communication skills
Whether it’s using simple, clear language or picking up on non-verbal cues, a skilled carer knows how to communicate with someone with dementia in ways that build trust and comfort.
Experience with dementia-specific challenges
Each stage of dementia brings its own needs. A confident carer understands symptoms like restlessness, wandering, or sundowning — and knows how to respond with care and compassion.
Respect for independence and dignity
Even as support needs grow, a good carer will always encourage independence wherever possible, allowing your loved one to stay involved in their own care and daily routine.
Types of dementia care available
Every person living with dementia experiences the condition differently, so it’s important to find a care arrangement that fits both their current needs and lifestyle. Dementia care at home can be flexible, personalised and reassuring, especially when delivered by a dedicated carer who understands the condition.
Live-in care
A live-in carer stays in the home to provide round-the-clock support and companionship. It offers peace of mind for families and consistency for the person receiving care — especially as symptoms progress or become less predictable.
Respite care
Short term support can give family carers time to rest, recover or attend to other responsibilities. Whether for a few days or a few weeks, respite care ensures your loved one is still receiving high-quality, one-to-one attention in familiar surroundings.
Visiting care
This involves a carer visiting at set times of the day to help with specific tasks, such as personal care, meals or medication. It works well in the early stages of dementia, when only occasional support is needed.
When care needs increase
Dementia is a progressive condition, and over time, your loved one may need more support. A live-in care arrangement can adapt as things change, helping with mobility, memory loss, safety concerns or emotional wellbeing. The earlier you put supportive care in place, the easier it is to build trust and routine, which can be especially comforting for someone with dementia.
Questions to ask when interviewing a dementia carer
Interviewing a potential carer gives you the chance to get a feel for their personality and approach. It’s not just about ticking boxes; it’s about seeing how well they might connect with your loved one.
Here are a few useful questions to consider:
- What experience do you have supporting people with dementia?
- How do you handle confusion, anxiety or aggression?
- Can you give an example of how you helped someone stay calm or feel more secure?
- Are you trained in managing personal care, medication or mobility needs?
- How would you build trust with someone who may be wary of care at first?
- What are your interests or hobbies?
Try to keep the conversation relaxed. You’ll learn a lot not just from their answers, but from how they listen, explain and engage. It’s perfectly okay to have more than one meeting or to involve your loved one if they feel comfortable. After all, it’s about finding someone who feels right for everyone involved.
Matching on personality and values
When looking for a dementia carer, personality is as important as experience and qualifications. Someone might have years of experience, but if they don’t connect with your loved one on a personal level, the relationship may not work as well as it should.
Think about your relative’s likes, dislikes, routines and outlook. Are they chatty or quiet? Do they enjoy certain hobbies, walks in the garden, or simply watching TV together in peace? The right carer should be someone who respects these preferences and can naturally adapt to the person’s rhythm.
At Country Cousins, for example, we take time to learn about both our clients and our carers. That means matching people not only on skills, but also on shared interests, outlook and ways of doing things. Because when personalities click, care becomes more than a task; it becomes a source of comfort and companionship.
Practical considerations
Alongside the personal side of things, there are a few practical points to think through when choosing a dementia carer. These details can make a big difference to day-to-day life and ensure everything runs as smoothly as possible.
Some things to check:
- Availability: Do you need full-time live-in care or part-time help during the day or night? Make sure the carer’s schedule fits your needs.
- Location: If you’re arranging regular visiting care, is the carer local and able to travel easily?
- Training: Are they up to date on dementia care best practices, safeguarding and emergency response?
- References and background checks: These help confirm experience and provide peace of mind.
- Costs and payment: Understand the fees and how payment is handled, especially if different funding options or support are involved.
How Country Cousins can help
Choosing a dementia carer can feel like a big decision, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Country Cousins, we’ve been helping families find compassionate, experienced carers for over 60 years. We take the time to get to know you and your loved one, so we can match you with someone who truly suits your needs, both practically and personally.
With our advanced live-in care and support, you can rest assured that we will do everything we can to ensure that carers are placed in long-term assignments, minimising the anxiety associated with someone constantly coming and going from the home.
Find clear, practical information on dementia — including types, symptoms, treatments and daily support. Download our dementia guide to get started.
Talk to our team today
We are the UK’s longest-serving introductory live-in care agency, having provided bespoke live-in care to those who need it in their own homes since 1959.
Call our experienced team today on 01293 224706 to discuss your live-in home care needs and receive a free, no obligation quotation.
